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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22403263">What you really love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Level_Nightmare/pseuds/Level_Nightmare'>Level_Nightmare</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Death Stranding (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Age Difference, Anal Prolapse, Creampie, Disgusting Things, Emetophilia, Gangbang, Humiliation, M/M, Mental Instability, Multi, Multiple Penetration, Rape/Non-con Elements, Scat, Stockholm Syndrome, Verbal Humiliation, Watersports, dirty situation, exposed rectum, grotesque situation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 11:21:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,624</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22403263</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Level_Nightmare/pseuds/Level_Nightmare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In contravention of his mentor's recommendations, a very young Higgs Monaghan engaged in his first independent courier deliveries, ends up in a Homo Demens camp in the deep west of the country. Upon awakening after a sensational blow to the head, what awaits him is painfully unexpected.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Higgs Monaghan/Homo Demens</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What you really love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Dear reader, I apologize in advance for the inevitable mistakes that you will find in this story: unfortunately English is not my first language and I helped myself with an online translator. Please keep this in mind and I hope you enjoy reading it as I enjoyed writing it!</p><p>In this story Higgs is about eighteen years old and is violently abused by a group of adult men. What happens to him harms his mind so deeply that it turns abuse into addiction and, as in a distorted form of "Stockholm syndrome", ends up making him want his torturers in a sexual and emotional way.<br/>Humiliations, insults, sperm, shit, piss and vomiting. Everything is in this story &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Please take my backpack!" these are the boy's first words who has not yet opened his eyes and, prostrated in the damp grass where he has fallen, he keeps his hands raised in front of his face, perhaps to avoid being hit. When no response comes from the men around him, casting long threatening shadows over him, Higgs slowly opens his eyes and looks up.<br/>
There are black and shiny armor, helmets with opaque visors, sophisticated weapons pointed towards him: these are not MULEs, that's for sure.</p><p>"Well awakened Princess Cumdump." says one, pressing the rifle barrel against his mouth, causing him to step back and fall with his butt on the ground again. Higgs whines protecting his head with his arms again and the men around him snort derisive laughter. "If we had wanted to shoot you and turn you into a BT we would have already done it.Tell us, it was your shitty head that suggested that you go precisely in the middle of our camp or are you retarded as you seem?"</p><p>The boy laboriously kneels. His head hurts where he received a blow so strong it made him pass out, probably given with the bottom of one of those big guns. He opens his eyes to look at his tormentors again, keeping the hands pathetically raised in surrender. "It was the shortest way ... I thought you were MULEs and ... and ... I had ... packages with smoke bombs to leave you. So I could have run away. Don't you want it?" the idiot incoherently asks, perhaps still too stunned to be lucid.</p><p>"Fuck, how stupid you are. Your cocksucker face makes me want to push you into the incinerator still alive!" one of the men blurts out, slapping him on the mouth with the back of the gloved hand and making him end up on the ground, terrified and crying. The boy tries to trudge to the ground and take refuge against the legs of the first Demens against whom he slams, clinging tightly to his knees. The man laughs and slips the barrel of the rifle between himself and the brat, trying to peel it off like a too intrusive little dog.</p><p>"Get out of my balls, freak. Stay where you are." he rests the dirty sole of the boot against his chest pushing him back and making him lie on the ground. The boy tries to get up but one of the Demens, perhaps more resolute than the others, grabs him by the collar of the suit and sticks the barrel of the rifle in his mouth with such force that he splinters a tooth and makes him scream in a voice suffocated by the weapon.</p><p>"Suck it." Demens orders him, shaking him vigorously and staring at him in those terrified blue eyes full of tears. The brat doesn't seem to know if the stranger really wants what he asked for: must he suck a weapon? As if it were what ...? He purses his lips fighting the pain that still numbs his thoughts and it is the Demens who starts to move the rifle back and forth, making him blush intensely under the laughter of his companions.</p><p>"Look how good he is!" says one of the Demens, grabbing Higgs by the hair to help him suck faster, deeper despite the barrel of the rifle is rubbing him hard on the tongue, slamming against his teeth and throat, making him feel the taste of mixed blood in his throat with oil for weapons. "I tell you he had a blowjob mouth. Suck, bitch, suck it all." And the boy tries but it hurts. Continue to cry and give them pleading looks that are sadistically ignored.</p><p>"Now it cum, watch out." murmurs the Demens who is brutalizing him, calmly removing the safety from the rifle, inebriating himself with the fear that Higgs seems to feel as if he had realized now that the cumshot of that weapon will scatter his brain over the whole landscape. The boy tries to shake his head and the man pushes harder, grunting as if he were to personally enjoy. Higgs cries, moans, shakes his head but the other Demens holds his head firmly and there is no way to prevent the barrel of the rifle from pressing against the bottom of his mouth.</p><p>He feels like vomiting, he is nauseated, terrified of the idea of dying like this, of dying there among those strangers, of becoming a BT and remaining anchored there, eternally in pain between the kingdom of the living and that of the dead. Fear loosens his bladder and a spray of warm urine floods the pants of his waterproof suit, heating his thin and tense thighs. At the same time, the man pulls the rifle from his mouth and shoots a few centimeters from his ear, the shots that whistle dangerously close to the side of his partner who held the head of Higgs.</p><p>The Demens laugh wildly as the deafened boy folds in two keeping his lower abdomen, spitting blood and saliva and blackish lubricating oil. One of the men rests the sole of the boot on the boy's head, keeping it pressed in the mud, beating the rifle against his raised ass. "Shall we open our present?" he asks rhetorically, letting the other Demens tear the boy's suit apart by tearing it on his hips and exposing his nakedness to the cold, damp air of the camp.</p><p>One of the men runs his hand between the brat's thighs, rubs his fingers and in disgust kicks him in the ass strong enough to make him scream in fear. "This pig has peed on himself. It's soaked." Higgs blushes deeply because he hadn't noticed and brings his hands to cover the penis protectively, not wanting to expose his genitals to those strangers. "I didn't want to, I was scared!" he tries to defend himself while one of the Demens rests the barrel of his rifle on his asshole, narrow and pink, inviting. The boy jumps and raises his head to try to say something, but someone puts in his mouth a huge dripping cock. Huge, odorous, pushed to the throat enough to tear a strangled and bubbling sob.</p><p>Cock in the mouth and the barrel of that shotgun, the same one he sucked just before, which slips into his ass causing intense, tearing pain. He tries to scream but his mouth is full, his hands are imprisoned in someone's strong grasp, he can't do anything, just try not to feel so bad. He has the feeling that they are disemboweling him, that they have slipped something huge and enormous in his  poor little ass and that they keep making him go back and forth as the stranger's big balls slam against his mouth.</p><p>"By tonight, boy, you will have your asshole so wide that we can get a fucking truck through it." a Demens promises him while the men gather in front of him offering the cocks and forcing him to suck them all, alternately, two at a time.<br/>
When they start to cum he opens his eyes trying to withdraw but being forced to swallow those filamentous and disgusting jets or to take them in the face, in the eyes, in the nose. He feels that sticky liquid trickle down his throat while behind him he is sodomized with the rifle.</p><p>And this time the nausea is like a green monster that flutters in his belly, that flips his stomach and starts to make him gurgl and sobbing liquidly, making the drool flow from his mouth. The Demens who keeps his cock in his throat realizes it, smiles under the mask and when the boy emits a disgusting regurgitation pour, he pushes harder to block his throat, entranced to see his blue eyes fill with tears, vomit and sperm run from his nose, drip from his mouth. The men burst out laughing and when his cock is removed from the boy's mouth finally allowing him to vomit, someone presses his face in the acrid and disgusting liquid he has just expelled, keeping him there, crushed.</p><p>The rifle is pulled out of his aching ass. The boy bleed slightly, perhaps from the heat with which he was abused but does not seem to have suffered serious damage. Not yet, at least. "Okay, I'd say it's fun." one of the Demens comments, grabbing Higgs by the ragged collar of the suit, starting to drag him behind as if he were an inert sack of rags. The boy complains, whines and shakes his legs to try to escape but it is like seeing a rabbit in the fangs of a panther.</p><p>There are about twenty men around him and, laughing, they take him to a small plastic building with an unstable look. They open the door wide revealing a filthy toilet which the boy is chained so that he keeps his face right next to the foul-smelling drain and his ass well raised outwards. "It hurts, please, that's enough!" he grins, trying to sit up but being immediately held by strong and rough hands. "Don't put anything in my ass! It hurts!" he implores them when he feels something meaty start pushing against his aching anus. He shrieks because he knows what it is, tries to kick like an annoyed foal, more teasing the predatory instinct of his rapists.</p><p>He is violently penetrated and his screams are as desperate as the laughter of the Demens. One cock after another, big swollen balls that slam against his broken anus which is horribly enlarged with each lunge, jets of hot sperm that flood his bowels and then start again. They want to injure him, they want to break him, they want to fill him with cum from ass to mouth.<br/>
The boy feels only pain, as if they had put a red-hot iron in him and in spite of this, he continues to implore them to stop or to go slower, that he will be good and will not tell anyone.</p><p>The rape continues throughout the afternoon and cocks and objects alternate in his ass and mouth, everything that manages to be stuck inside. The boy's body is full of bruises, his mouth split in several places, a black eye and a broken nose. He also has blood between his thighs and that little pink hole has now been replaced by a large crack similar to a worn, throbbing pussy, dripping with blood and semen.<br/>
One of the men, after cleaning his cock in the brat's dirty hair, sticks three fingers into his ass, shaking them roughly and appreciating the liquid noise that his entrails produce like the tummy weighed down by the cum that he swallowed and that they pumped in the 'intestine.</p><p>"If he tries to shit, his stomach also comes out of this leaking hole!" the man laughs, unleashing the hilarity of his companions. Someone gets to work behind him and something huge is forced into him. Something that is not even lubricated and that further widens the anus making him lose a little more tension. "It's a grenade." someone reminds him. "Wrapped in a rag because as wide as you are, you would end up shitting it out. If you do, I will take the quill tomorrow and put it in you. Will it explode in your ass, happy?".</p><p>The boy, terrified and exhausted, nods, curling up as he can against that dirty toilet, only wishing to be left in peace and the men, after a few minutes are leaving him alone.<br/>
Higgs does not know how to quantify the passage of time, he goes in and out of sleep or fainting without realizing it, he only knows he has cold and pain everywhere, he needs to go to the bathroom but to be terrified at the idea of what could come out of his intestine. So he cries in silence calling for help in a low voice, his stomach tense and sore.</p><p>Before dawn someone reaches him and he, frightened, becomes small in the corner that he manages to reach. The man grabs him by the hair and drags him forward, starting to wipe his battered face with a damp cloth. Higgs opens his eyes to look at him: a helmet equal to that of the others, same armor, same rifle. He gently cleans his face and offers him a glass of water with which to rinse his mouth. After he does, the man grabs him firmly by the head and brings him closer. The visor is raised revealing only the mouth, beautiful, full, well drawn with a short black beard. The boy looks at him, stunned and frightened, feeling something move in his lower abdomen.</p><p>The Demens sinks his tongue into his mouth looking for his, kissing him with rough violence but without hurting him, his fingers sunk in his dirty hair. The boy unconsciously leans towards him to lean his naked chest against the armor of the other man, to seek his warmth, his closeness, kissing him in response with a transport that scares him, makes him feel dirty and guilty.<br/>
The man separates himself from the boy and without saying a word he makes him drink and feeds him with something sweet taken from an aluminum bag.</p><p>The boy eats eagerly realizing how much his body needed nourishment, taking food from the Demens' hands like an animal stuck in a trap. "Today will be the same as yesterday. Be good and take everything. Swallow and enjoy." the stranger tells him, clapping his hand on the boy's head like a little dog before abandoning him. Higgs manages to sleep for a while, satiated by food and warmed by that single act of humanity received before the visits of his torturers begin again.</p><p>After three days spent in these conditions, his mind started to waver: the Demens rape him during the day, plug his ass at night and in the morning allow him to empty, dragging him by the chain and taking away and uncorking his angled anus. He struggles to control himself and simply crouches where he can, emptying shit and cum on the ground under the laughter of the Demens. They clean it up with cold water, insert the tube into his guts and then bring him back to the toilet.</p><p>Higgs is visited every night by the man who brings him food and drink, who kisses him every night after cleaning his mouth. And despite the terrible days spent with cocks in the mouth and in the ass, he wants to bend over the man's thighs, wait for him to pull out his cock and then suck him gently as if it were all he wants to do while the other works his anus , filling it with four fingers. With him Higgs cums every night, panting in his arms, against his mouth, moaning and asking him imploringly what his name.</p><p>"The brat has a broken ass." announces one of the Demens one morning, showing his companions the swollen lips of the boy's anus, squeezing them between his fingers to irritate them more, penetrating them and shaking his rectum which, after a few moments, looks out of the hole like a disgusting slimy snail. The boy complains trying to escape his tormentor but the Demens seem fascinated by the thing, their hands look for that fragment of intestine into which his rectum has transformed and which starts to protrude from his ass without control.</p><p>"I don't give a shit. I also fuck him up like this." one of the Demens points out, inserting his cock into that piece of raw meat, pushing to find the right hole and unrolling the boy's rectum on his penis as if it were a living fat condom. Higgs screams weakly but without realizing it he moves his hips against Demens' cock, pushing him to an early cumshot. The man pulls his cock out of that disgusting tube of meat, watching him dripping cum and shit on the ground but, above all, he looks at the brat's face who gasps with his mouth open with his tongue dangling like a dog on a too hot day.</p><p>"He's gone, guys. We also fucked his brain. He likes to be stuffed with piss, cum and shit" a thunderous burst of laughter pours into the stinking air to see the boy drool like a hydrophobic beast with a blissfully idiotic expression on his battered face.<br/>
Seeing him in that conditions, the men decide to try something more fun at this point. In two they arrange him with open legs right above the toilet and, in turn, they penetrate him in that disgusting rectal prolapse, pissing in his intestine. He laughs immotably.</p><p>"Yes, yes, again!" whimpering and moaning, feeling the heat flood his guts every time someone empties his bladder inside him, trying to attract the next male to suck his cock in the meantime. The Demens look at him, disgusted and fascinated while the last to have used him as a toilet tightens his fist on the leaking intestine that protrudes from his ass, holding it upwards because it does not empty itself. Laughing, men plug it using a thick roll of dirty rags and then tie it tightly with a rough lanyard, making it look like a ridiculous roll of meat to put in the oven. Someone slaps it forcefully, making him whimper and squeak with pleasure and frustration while someone else strokes his weighted tummy as if he is pregnant, touching it roughly and weighing it with animalistic desire.</p><p>"I'm full, I'm going to shit myself! Is about to go out!" the brat complains, squeezed in the arms of the Demens who answer him only laughing, pushing him into the confined space of the latrine, then they make him crouch like an animal so that he can empty his bowels freely. The problem is that nothing comes out of him and he complains, trying to push, feeling only a few burning drops running out of him, the rectally prolapsed obscenely bloated as if he were about to burst and crawls on the ground being beaten and kicked by the Demens' heavy boots. Amused, one of the two Demens only loosens the lace, then, dragging the boy to his feet and holding him by a lean and dirty arm, he punches him in the belly strong enough to take his breath away and make him bend in two with a groan.</p><p>"Come on. What are you waiting for?" exhort him, hitting him again and again while he tries to protect his belly from the blows that come from all sides, feeling something run between his thighs first, then in a disgusting stream of solid and liquid fecal matter mixed with piss and the cum of the unknown men when the snare slips away and his rectum sprays out of control emitting bubbling and flaccid expulsion noises while huge turds run down him in a steady stream of diarrhea.<br/>
The boy ends up on his knees breathless and despite the pain and the upset mind, he does nothing but grab the first cock that dangle in front of him, taking to suck it greedily, his clouded eyes turned upwards, eager and stupid.</p><p>After a week the boy is destroyed but perfectly trained. When the Demens go to see him, he prepares himself with his ass, now infested with crawling parasites and mouth open ready to be filled to the brim and to suffer the dirtiest humiliations that come to their mind. The Demens were so disgusted by his sanitary and hygienic conditions that they wanted to sodomize him only with their rifles.<br/>
On the eighth night, the man who kisses him with such transport removes his chains and makes him stand up. He takes him out of the latrine to give him a summary wash with cold water and, once again, kiss him for a long time, gently, stroking his thin face and dressing him up to make him wear socks and boots</p><p>"Now I'll take you on the road, then you'll have to walk. If you don't die, you can come back here to play with us again. With me. You like when I kiss you, don't you?". Higgs nods wearily, trying to take refuge in his arms. The man rejects him and roughly shakes him to give him a wake up call. "You have to walk, retarded. Raise that broken ass." The Demens drags him to his feet and drags him behind walking in the tall grass. "I want to be here with you ..." the brat complains, holding him by the hand like a small child, stumbling constantly, tired and aching, his brain completely crushed by the violence suffered.</p><p>"I know. But you have to go away. Only if you come back does it mean you've learned." Higgs stops and points his feet to be able to look him in the face, that face whose mouth he only knows and which now has a visor to cover it. "What? What did I ... learn?" he asks, getting on his knees and starting to unfasten his tactical belt. The man smiles, amused, placing a hand on his head and the cock into his begging mouth. "Fucking is the only thing you need. The one that freaks you out. The only thing you want." Higgs gives him a dreamy look from below, taking it in his mouth to the balls and starting to suck rhythmically, ready to swallow splashes of hot cum.</p><p>He will not die by returning to his refuge.<br/>
But he learned his lesson. He found out what he really needs to feel damn alive.</p>
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